Colonialism Is Narcissistic Abuse at Scale

The U.S. was founded on it by victims of narcissistic abuse fleeing persecution.

People raised in narcissistic abuse are more susceptible to it in adulthood—as perpetrator, victim, or both. Everyone raised in the United States was raised in narcissistic abuse. The country was founded by victims of narcissistic abuse seeking refuge.

Because these victims of narcissistic abuse fleeing Europe didn’t recover from that trauma, they replicated it on these shores.

This is known as repetition compulsion. Until you face and recover from your trauma, you repeat it unconsciously. It’s actually your body offering your mind a chance to figure things out, learn, and evolve. We do it as individuals and we do it as societies. Just look at history.

Some of us have stubborn minds that love to hold onto denial that once helped us survive. Not recognizing that refusing to face truth just serves up more truth. Often louder and more inconveniently each time.

I’m watching several humans I care about right now trapped in repetition compulsion they can’t stop because they are too afraid to face facts. Which I get.

First, I’m still in denial about plenty, repeating lessons I haven’t yet learned. I know. Second, I denied I was living in abusive domestic and work systems for 30 years. I was very aware until I was about 12 and then I stepped into a suit of denial that kept me trapped repeating the same painful traumas again and again for three decades.

Repeatedly placing myself in abusive work systems and domestic systems was my wise body asking my stubborn mind to stop denying sh!t and wake TF up. Which is how my body was speaking to my mind by the time she finally learned how to listen. My body is always gentle and nurturing at the start. Until my head-strong mind ignores for far too long and my wise body feels a need to get loud. Wake TF up. She flares in my lower back or my head first. When my stubborn mind is refusing to see the brick wall we keep smacking into.

I was raised in narcissistic abuse brought home from coal mines and churches, the military and the Ivy League. All places teeming with narcissistic abuse. Poverty also breeds narcissistic abuse. As does wealth. All use shame to propel humans into states of fear, making them easier to control.

My parents went to work and were abused all day while not making enough to support us. They then brought that abuse home to each other and to us. It happened in all the houses around me.

We are mirroring creatures. It’s hella hard to not repeat modeled behavior. Especially when you are wired to repeat modeled behavior. As our species is. Especially in times of extreme stress.

Unlucky for those who face me, my abusive dad can come out when I am in extreme stress. Connected to why I try to avoid extreme stress and regulate the wazoo out of my nervous system every day many times a day. As now, walking and typing in sunshine and nature while listening to music. I like to regulate in at least four ways simultaneously. Which is connected to narcissistic abuse.

When narcissistic abuse dysregulates our nervous system—which is its purpose—it makes it impossible to access our prefrontal cortex. Rendering us far less rational. It ignites the amygdala, propelling us into a fear state. Fear clouds vision and increases perceived threat. When we can’t see clearly because our perception is compromised by extreme cortisol, we make less wise decisions. This is why bullies bully. To intimidate smaller more vulnerable people into submission. To push the fear they can’t or won’t face onto someone with less power. Abuse or be abused.

Victims of narcissistic abuse are prone toward attacking others when in dysregulated fear states. Unless they are much smaller or less powerful, in which case flight, freeze, and fawn are instinctual. Not conscious. Survival instincts are not conscious. The prefrontal cortex is offline when we employ survival instincts. Our memories are also stored in a different part of the hippocampus and can be harder to access.

The victims of narcissistic abuse fleeing persecution in Europe came to American shores seeking a better life. Problematically, these victims of narcissistic abuse, including some of my ancestors, claimed to have “discovered” a new land peopled by 60 million humans organized into complex tribes with profound wisdom. The culture and community of Native Americans amazed and threatened my ancestors. As did hard life in a harsh new terrain far from all they knew. Fear was high.

And nobody coming over on boats was taking time to process their trauma. They were fleeing persecution. Unless you’ve studied it your whole life as I have, it is very difficult to process trauma in the middle of ceaseless trauma.

Why so few people process their trauma. I get it.

So all these traumatized Europeans show up and pour their unhealed trauma into the people they encountered. Along with their own family members. Because what we do at home mirrors what we do out in the world.

Not only that, instead of creating a new system NOT built on exploitation, hierarchy, classism, sexism, and religious persecution, they did exactly that. Because we repeat the behavior we were modeled until or unless we face the trauma. Which no one was doing. Too busy surviving, by denying and spinning new narratives. Which you can do when you torture and kill off one population and enslave and torture another.

To unite with their own white-skinned friends and family, these escapees from persecution in Europe decimated populations of Native Americans after exploiting them for as much gain as possible. In truth, the Europeans were no match for the Native Americans. They were a difficult population to enslave. They worked with each other and the land in stunning ways and didn’t carry the trauma burden the Europeans did. Even with brutal punishment from the Europeans, the Native Americans continued to resist and fight back. Merit, skill, valor, organization, intelligence, governance, agriculture, ecology—on all fronts the Native Americans outdistanced the Europeans.

The Europeans had smallpox and narcissistic abuse. That’s how they eliminated the threat posed to them by the people whose land they stole.

Lying, cheating, and stealing were not concepts the Native Americans understood. Because they are components of narcissistic abuse. Which the Europeans brought with them from the old country.

Which is why colonialism is narcissism at scale.

The narcissistic abuse employed to enslave Africans abducted from their homelands and put to work building a new nation is another post entirely.

All of this was done on stolen land.

Narcissistic abuse includes theft. Because narcissists believe everything belongs to them.

Can’t help but see parallels between America 250 years ago and Israel today.

When we don’t heal our trauma, we repeat our trauma. To heal our trauma, we must face it.