Grief Made Me Feel Guilty and Ashamed

Until I realized those were other people’s feelings projected onto me.

Editor’s note: This piece was supposed to go out yesterday but the writer got lost while writing it and then needed some space from it and then it turned into something else having to do with 9/11 neither of us saw coming. Although to write about 9/11 this week in a column on grief does make some sense. Not sure what follows makes much sense—it’s a bit of a circuitous journey. The writer thanked a friend recently for tolerating her talking in circles and he laughed his magical laugh and said, “It’s more like orbits, and you always manage to bring it all together.” Adding, “I love it.”

And so the writer spirals on.

GRIEF AND PROJECTION

I’m no stranger to grief.

Some have had much more than I have. Any who are still alive are people to learn from.

Grief is a teacher like no other.

People who have experienced deep grief and truly faced it are people who have something to teach you.

There is an art to surviving grief.

Practice does help you get better at it.

The tricky thing about grief is…