Mindfulness Is Annoying

And annoyingly helpful.

“I feel scared and sad.”

It just hit me like a thunderbolt from the sky. And then I let it sink in. Acknowledged it. Assessed its veracity.

Yep. This frenzied scurrying around I’m doing and the impetus to do and bring more is me feeling scared and sad.

It takes A LOT of energy to avoid feeling scared and sad. And big long to-do lists.

I feel scared and sad at the moment because I’m headed home to my paternal klan and all its baggage. Driving into the bosom of family and the belly of the beast in the same journey. Needing both.

I need to go for several reasons, including this damn book I’m trying to write. Very little accelerates memoir writing quite like large gatherings of people like me. It will be generative.

It will also be healing. Which is the real reason I’m going and the real reason I write memoir. To try to make sense of this unusual life …