Mourning the Me Who Used to Get to Be Generous

Not having enough money robs me of the gift of giving—and it hurts.

Holidays are hardest on the poor. Especially poor parents. As I looked down the barrel of Christmas this year, I had even more to worry about than usual. — Stephanie Land, Class

I felt this with every cell of my body and was so grateful to have Land put it into words. I learn deep things from everyone whose words I read. I learn the deepest things from people writing through poverty.

I think I could qualify for food stamps if I applied. I probably should. I’m not sure about unemployment since I elected to be unemployed five years ago—not realizing I would still be unemployed five years later. Funny what we don’t imagine is possible—and then things change.

I could also make a case for disability, with my ADHD, complex PTSD, and suspected autism. But I hear it’s a torturous process and still wouldn’t yield enough to cover my bills.

I have been underem…