People Who Don’t Say “I’m Sorry” Have a Shame Problem

I surround myself with them. Because I have a taking on blame problem.

Immersion is a powerful way to learn. It’s why I never really learn anything until I am surrounded by it from multiple directions. I studied Spanish for years and years but it wasn’t until I lived in the Dominican Republic for a summer that I began to dream in Spanish. Surround sound enhances learning.

I’m surrounded by people who struggle to say “I’m sorry” when I share with them ways their behavior is hurting me. Despite my modeling it for them. All the time.

I say “I’m sorry” more often than I say my name. Because I like to face my shame in the moment, acknowledge and apologize when I make a mistake, and try not to do it again. But that’s just me.

Many humans in my life would rather die than face their own shame. I am not passing judgement here. I have been there. I still have shame I’m not fully ready to face. But I do shame work every day to keep new shame from building up. I have to if I have any hope of clearing out the residual shame in my body.

No new baggage.

So, when I make a m…