Wednesday Is for Grief

Why Am I Feeling So Good?

I don’t follow rules. Even my own. It’s extremely exasperating. I know.

I tell myself I’m going to do x, y, and z and then end up doing z, y, and x. While criticizing myself for not doing what I said I was going to do when I said I was going to do it.

I rarely do what I say I’m going to do when I say I’m going to do it.

Part of why I’m so reluctant to say I’m going to do things I don’t want to do.

Because the chances of my doing something I don’t want to do are even slimmer than the chances of my doing something I do want to do.

Do you know how many things I want to do?

Do you realize how much harder that makes it to do things I don’t want to do?

All this sh!t I don’t want to do intervenes and takes me away from the things I do want to do. Leaving me feeling like I’m doing a half-ass job of everything. Which is not my preferred approach to anything.

And yet I set it up to be exactly like this for a reason.

I try to do way too much and then get pulled away by sh!t I don’t want to do and en…